How many of you have stumbled across half-naked pictures of a woman on Facebook, or have that one girl on your friends list with a gallery that makes you wonder if she’s soliciting herself for porn? Pretty much everyone, I’m guessing. How many of you become infuriated when these pictures pop up on your Newsfeed and, out loud or in your head, begin calling the girl names such as slut or whore? We’re all guilty.
Now, I have been noticing quite a few half-naked, “erotic” photos of the same girl coming up on my home page because we have a few male mutual friends and she tags them in these pictures. I often scroll past it, or click the “I don’t want to see this” button, because really, guys, I don’t want to see it. But I also try my best not to pass judgment. The comments I read today on one picture ranged from compassionate words of concerned strangers, to hateful comments about the kind of person she is… based solely on the photos she posts.
Here’s my dilemma.
I, in no way, approve of a woman portraying herself as a sex-object, not because I don’t think that we should choose what to do with our bodies, but because male or female, the way we present ourselves is often reflective of how we will allow others to treat us. If you act like a sex object, that’s how people are going to perceive you. I also believe that photographing your body in such a way is done for one reason only: to seek male approval. To me, this is a sign of very low self-worth, and I don’t just mean when it comes to your appearance. Even from where I stand on the subject, would I ever call this girl worthless because of what she does with her body, or say nobody likes a slutty girl along with every troll (female and male) commenting on this girls post?
Absolutely fucking not.
What bothers me about this double-standard is that it’s one of the most problematic and least discussed topics when it comes to unfair gender-roles. I’m not even going to get into the fact that men are praised for expressing sexual freedom, and women are pressured to be ashamed of it, because any intelligent person can see that this is a ridiculous, dated concept. Why should we feel shame for having a lot of sex and enjoying it, other than the fact that doing so makes men angry?
I have so much animosity for the views supported by these comments, because the idea is completely hypocritical and ignorant. In person, I’ve noticed that the vast majority of males who’s opinions mirror this have one or more pictures of a lubed-up Playmate on their bedroom wall.
They criticize the women who post…let’s say questionable…pictures of themselves for free (God forbid, for free?!) on the internet as they simultaneously worship women that make more than a living wage by being nothing more than an object of sexual appeal.Young girls are assaulted with these images from every angle, images that receive positive reactions from their male peers. At an early age, we tell them, “This is what men want. This is what you’re supposed to be,” but then we put them down for listening?
Your worth is defined by your sexual appeal. But don’t demonstrate it freely. Then you’re a slut and are worthless.
Said no sane person, ever.